“ I don’t know why we are here, but I am pretty sure it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.” – Ludwig Wittgenstein
I am in a train and the fucktard sitting in front of me is a living proof. As he continues to victimize a girl on phone, threatening to switch off if she doesn't behave, a smug smile spreads across his face. Life must suck for the poor girl. Heck, I look at myself and to be honest I can be used as a poster boy for the quote. Now don’t worry I am not about to begin a tear jerker about why I feel this way. You won’t be interested and that’d make two of us.
What I cynically conclude is that life in general is a bitch. Its out to get us, each and every one of us, and then destroy us in whatever way catches its fancy. And just to make things worse, just so that you don’t get too used to the pain and misery (that would spoil the fun), so that you don't give up, life throws in some moments of happiness. Happiness. What an idea, to be content and enjoy oneself, to revel in one's existence. Its also the biggest cause of all the agony we go through - To find happiness. Its like the proverbial carrot on a stick, only we are allowed to get the carrot sometimes, happiness.
So my contention is, when I am already condemned, doomed to suffer, why not devour the carrot when it comes to me? Live every tiny happy moment to the fullest as a fuck you to life. A message that even after all that it throws at me I can manage to be glad about my existence, even if for a small amount of time. That despite its best effort life has inadvertently given me what I need, that I refuse to provide it the sadistic pleasure and satisfaction that it hopes to derive out of my puny insignificant existence. I love the idea, makes me feel like a rebel, full of energy and enthusiasm. Like someone who refuses to silently endure, who takes a firm stand. Or maybe Happiness can be my heroin and I can live for it. Kick scream threaten beg steal, whatever it takes until the next shot. And then do it all over again. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
A crazy enthusiasm fills me, a mad desire to tackle life head on. Its scary but at the same time its exhilarating. And then it dawns on me, probably you’ve spotted it already, the flaw in my argument. Even in my whining I am arrogant enough to believe that life would victimize me, as if it had nothing better to do, as if I was worth it. I am the poor innocent sheep and life is the big bad wolf. What if that’s not true? What if life is indifferent, apathetic. It’s a heavy burden to place oneself in open rebellion, and then go unnoticed. What if life was indifferent?
13 comments
@anonymous1
answer to which question, if i may ask?
nice opening!!! rest is all phillloooo wattever...not too keen on starting an intellect. debate.. (nice blog though!!)
@ anonymous2 & Wam
Thank you!
Humans have this little tendency of establishing purpose behind every phenomenon, also life. Life can be generally said to be sandbox, however overused that may sound. We kinda tend to give more thought and importance to *establish* the purpose and method of living it, and forget living it as it comes, albeit with a little planning.
Think a kindergarten who is given a set of LEGO blocks with mild adult supervision. Would he think of:
1. Is the kind of way I want to build the blocks philosophically/ethically correct?
2. What will the teacher who is supervising me think, or is s/he even interested in me beyond his/her paycheque?
3. Am I actually getting less pleasure than I imagine while building the blocks in a certain kind of way?
OR, would he just build the blocks the way he wants it to, without thinking the above rant?
Oh yeah, awesome post. As always, got me thinking.
@ aniket
yes, i see what you are getting at. But now consider a kid who despises playing with LEGO (wierdo, i know) but has to do it anyways because he is told that going through the ordeal he will learn a lot and because he will be 'graded' on it, which has 'future implications'. Only after a few years, he figures out it was all a hoax to make him do it.
All said, I am glad it was coherent enough to get you thinking. to quote "And that's quite a feat for a harmless blog article." :)
Oh yeah, that. I forgot to mention my underlying assumption - that the kid *wants* to build the LEGO blocks. Replace the blocks with any other sandbox activity. I didn't mean to project LEGO as something imposed by the society.
Being disinterested in any kind of sandbox activity (read:also life) is a form of extreme pessimism/nihilism/also suicidal.
And as you know, after a point, only self-gradation, self-consciousness and self-judgement matters. Others and their judgment is but a distant perception - unimportant and not-worth-pondering-over.
mai na kehta tha ;
ye duniya agar mil bhi jaye toh kya hai ?
sab saali moh maya hai
Is it funny that I posted something exactly like it around the same time? Anyhow. I don't have to voice how much I agree.
Although, I guess I'm not so positive about taking life by the horns. Still, to each his own.
Hallelujah.
Arey Karn haan, kahi dhoop kahi chaya hai -> Chirga.
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About us
We find ourselves today, at three vastly different cities and institutions of higher learning. What still sustains our friendship though; beyond and despite the lack of geographical proximity, is what I shall simplistically attempt to explain with the aid of a statistical math tool (refer:common ground).
With these pleasantries out of the way; let me further convolute this introduction.
There are nerds, and there are jocks. There are the deeply pious, and the self-righteous atheists. The lost poets in apathetic tees and the narcissistic yuppies in classy 3-piece GQs. The thums up lovers and the connoisseurs of fine wine.
Or as I would like to think of us; both and neither.
There is an oxymoron in there somewhere
For at some point in our lives; we've each played a video game for 9 hours straight, spent a session from midnight to dawn of uninterrupted street football, quoted Nietzshe and then laughed on last nights How I Met ..
you get the idea.
