those three words. are said too much  

Posted by Karn

i realized, that to be in love doesn't have to be painful. that it can be a happy experience

i do not have to worry about what she would think because of what i say. if it is all too much or too little.

if i am good enough for her.

because this time, i know i am.
and because she gets me

what could be more satisfying than when she gets you.
sometimes the obvious , is so easy for the mind to miss

and why does the mind choose agony ? is there some sweet, inherent pleasure in pain ?

because when it is so appallingly right, the mind tries to search for the most absurd of reasons to present a counter case
just, for the fucking heck of it. presumably.
yet the mind didn't bother for the practical, when it was impossible an endeavor to begin with.
Then again, I was a tad too quixotic back in the day

perhaps a part of us is designed to necessarily think of what wrong could be made with a situation

any situation
how else could humans pervert so much as to do the depraved things they do ?

but i digress.

and this has a feeling of deja vu. i haven't written for a while.
fuck it feels good

Identifying Orientation for Dummies  

Posted by Karn

Step 1
get high

Step 2
put on youtube, and load videos of each of these 5 artists:
A) Justin bieber B) Eminem ft. rihanna ft. megan fox C) Jay sean D) Adele and E) John mayer

Step 3
begin watching them one by one
as soon as you have a boner or get wet,

whose video are you on ?

If the answer is
A - you're a teenage girl / child molester
B - you're a regular heterosexual male aged 14 - 90
C - you're gay/ a regular heterosexual female in her 20's
D - you're a lesbian/ a thinking heterosexual male
E - you're a thinking heterosexual female/ sexually ambiguous

Bonus definition
Narcissist: if you ever get a boner looking in the mirror

BITS Pilani  

Posted by Unknown in

Fade in Music. Lusty Guitar Riffs in the distance. Industrial Base distortion in the air. Rich kids on crack shouting like their genitals are on fire.
And they ought to be, for Rock ‘n’ Roll is the Devil’s worship. When the musty drugs are high, and the cheap beer kicks in; when the sweat is hot, and the hormones take control – Music is salvation. The odd guitar lick gyrates in your head, it’s opiate vibrations feeding on the most extreme thoughts in your brain, reminding you how your life is spinning out of control – how your average tequila vomits per week are higher than your college attendance, or how that tasteful chick with the perky tits you met at a poet friend’s place is doing the rounds of your wet dreams more than your current girlfriend does, or how you’re jerking off on the orange napkins your mother gifted you the last month you bathed, when you’re not stealing money from her purse to massage your narcotic lifestyle.
Yet you scream till your kidneys explode, and try to forget that life will always suck for an average person like you. That’s when you know that you’re in a rock concert, a shrine of Lucifer – a revolutionary, a non-conformist, a leader, a giver of hope.
Welcome to BITS Pilani.


Posted by Unknown in

I wish I was not sitting in this class. I wish I was on the top of a waterfall, poised to jump the life out of my purposeless existence in a white-collar management establishment. A nameless, burgeoning voice is shouting in the halls of my depravedness; spewing out - positional authority, uselessly dissected practicality; traditional, clerical, technical methods to evaluate meaningless, empirical data – a white cloud of perspiring August Noise fills the room like my nightmares throng with sad promises of an average life.
Confused voices, unsure of their cradle and consequence, jet from above and behind, assuming their goals for their dreams. Their smiles are innocent, their minds are drifting, in a pale sea of imposed conformity. They are not to blame, they operate in a delirium. A delirium of a vague rapture, not of a calm trance.
But then, there's always the hot seniors. And so, tranquility sets in.


Posted by Karn

Why the fuck did I keep this stupid title for the blog ?

Is it just me or do you too look at yourself from a few years ago and go, "what a punk"

Maybe I thought the fancy words together would sound smart.

I feel sometimes the great divide, within
Makes it easy to blend in anywhere. But makes one as much a misfit, as popular.

people are so entertaining. I probably look creepy when sometimes I'm just looking around observing them.

I thought " oh shit how how big does that boy look since i last saw him as a kid !" and then i thought " oh shit how fucking old am i to be saying shit like that already. when did i
become, old .. er .. ish ?
this is a new feeling.

Every man should grow a beard once.
It liberates
and you'd be taken by how much people react to it
nothing says more " I don't give a shit " than a beard.

Is it not a curse, for when a photographer looks at something beautiful, the first thought that comes to his mind is
" how good would this look in a picture !"

or maybe I'm just rambling


Posted by Aditya in

He felt confined and suffocated, not just by his current predicaments, but by existence in general. Afterall survival was little more than a myriad, constant struggle to not get screwed. He failed to see the point of it all, but couldn’t find an alternative. As a result he felt condemned to suffer as a prisoner of life.

One day, it finally occurred to him that his prison had no bars.

With that came an ocean of fear and guilt, threatening to consume him. Survival wasn’t obligatory, just that it was hardcoded into our brain and reinforced by social conditioning. Maybe it was perfectly fine to choose not to live. Would it be the cowardly way out? Was there a difference between loosing the will to live and using death as an escape from one’s inadequacies? He was not a quitter, of that he was sure, almost. Still, with every passing day he found it harder to persevere and even harder to accept the diabolical alternative that ravaged his fantasies. And then in an agonizing moment of complete surrender; he conceded. Regardless of everything, everybody, he really, surely, wanted to die. When? Well...Not yet, there was plenty of time.

And thus it came to pass that Atlas was permitted the opinion that he was at liberty, if he wished, to drop the Earth and creep away; but this opinion was all that he was permitted.

In Pursuit of Happiness - Part II  

Posted by Aditya

Image Courtesy :

Read part 1 here.

Dil to Bachcha hai ji, Lyrics and Custom Translation  

Posted by Unknown in , ,

I googled around to see if this song had a proper translation posted somewhere. All I found were almost literal translations having nonsense value following degenerate comments thanking the author for translating the obvious into English. I'm sure Gulzaar sa'ab weeps silently in a dark corner of his surreal thought-space, for his work goes unrecognized, misunderstood and under-pondered in this shitty corner of the cinematic world we live in (Sorry Kashyap, Sudhir, Dev, Balki, Shyam, Piyush, Prasoon and many others who identify themselves with the jizz eating industry). I so hate the Indian media for not having critics solely dedicated to untangling, 'decoding' and deciphering Gulzaar sa'ab's work. I, without offense to the silver monk persevering in a black sea of peripheral cinema, have attempted to interpret the song's lyrics, in a manner that is worthy of the faculties of the people behind the song. Lyrics follow, pursued by the interpretation.

Dil to bachcha hai [The heart is a spontaneous entity, unconquered by reason]

Aisi uljhi nazar unse hathti nahi, [The mind is so distracted with thoughts of her]
Daat se reshmi door kathti nahi. [I have lost the skill of opening your silken blouse
strings with my teeth]
Umra kabki baras ke safaed ho gayi, [Long gone is my erectile prowess]
Kari badri javani ki chathti nahi, [But the eroticism is in my mind, not in my
decrepit body]

[This is a sequence describing self-gratification]
Walla ye dhadhkan, [The heart beat is rising, the climax is near]
Badne lagi hai,
Chehre ke rangat, [I am pale, my blood is being rushed to where I want it]
Udne lagi hai.

Daar lagta hai tanha sone mein ji [Sleeping alone makes me want to test my virility, and I'm afraid I'll fail]

Dil to bachcha hai ji; [I know I act immaturely in front of you, please forgive me]

Raaa, rara raaa, aa
Raaa, rara, raaa, aa

Kisko pata tha, pehlu mein rakkha, [I thought I knew myself]
Dil aisa paaji bhi hoga. [But the scoundrel I am, I betrayed myself]
Hum to hamesha, samjhte the koi,
Ham jaisa haji he hoga. [I thought that the life of the cloth, would rid my lust for you]

Haey Zor kare, kitna shor kare, [I have struggled, battled and skirmished with myself
Bevajah baton pe, aiiwen gaur kare, [on thoughts that should have no sensible existense in me]

Dil sa koi, kaminaa nahi... [You are to blame, you create another 'I', who fights with me and overpowers my rationale]
koi to roke, koi to toke, [Stop this alchemy, kill your lies]
Is umra mein ab, khaoge dhoke, [I know I won't be able to satisfy you anymore]
Daar lagta hai Ishq karne mein ji [I am impotent - I cannot even love myself, how can I love you?]

Dil to bachcha hai ji,
Dil to bachcha hai ji, [I laugh, for I am not ashamed]
Thoda kaccha hai ji. [The memories of a forlorn youth are still raw in me]
Haaan, Dil to bachcha hai ji. [Still I dream of completing you, for the heart is a happy kid, unfamiliar with the truth]

Aisi udaasi, baithi hai dil pe, [I know you'll be laughing behind my back]
Haasne se ghabra rahein hain, [When I try to hide my incompetence behind cheerful spontaneity and promises of performance of youth]
Saari jaawani, katra ke kaati, [I stayed a virgin, all my life]
Piri mein takra gayein hain. [When I meet you now, you tell me you have experienced love with other men]

Dil dhadakta hai to, [I let my blood boil, to aid my arousal]
Aise lagta hai vo,
Aa raha hai yahin,
[I feel as I am on the verge of excitement and youth]
Dekhta he na ho.
[Alas, neither you, nor the bloody erection pays my love any attention]

Prem ke maare, [The final blow has been delivered, and I am emotionally castrated]
Katar re, [My sword hangs limp, from my groin]

Tauba ye lamhe, [These extreme moments with you]
Kathte nahin kyon, [are so humiliating that they never pass away]
Ankhon se meri, [But I do not want them to leave my eyes]
Hatthe nahi kyon, [Because they remind me of you]

Dar lagta hai khud se kehne mein ji, [How do i confess to myself that I have lost?]

Dil to bachcha hai ji,
Dil to bachcha hai ji, [How will this poor, poor heart endure my loss]
Thoda kaccha hai ji, [He is still young, basking in the glory of romantic victory]
Haaan, Dil to bachcha hai ji [I love my heart, more than I can ever love you]
Dil to bachcha hai ji [For What is my heart? Nothing more than an altered vision of you]

Come back to me love, come back to my young, stubborn heart.

what I thought about when attempting to sleep  

Posted by Chameli in

i have, of course, been a filthy little atheist since i acquired the power of critical thinking. exploring the natural, in my view, is infinitely more interesting and rewarding than the contrived, insidious and anachronistic tales of the supernatural that dominate many so many lives.

i believe it is a moral imperative to think critically about everything. we should question the values and biases we've inevitably inherited from our parents, and we should continue to reevaluate our beliefs for as long as we live. encouraging children to practice dipassionate critical thinking should be the primary function of compulsory education. it is not my intent to preach, but i will provide an example. i was vegetarian from fourth grade into college, originally becasue i believed it wrong to kill animals. today i am mostly vegetarian as a way of mitigating the harm i do in our world. industrial meat farming devastates the environment. and, while i've decided there's no harm in killing a creature that has no emotional connections, i do believe no feeling creature should be treated with indifference. consider the hog.

Abandoned Child  

Posted by Aditya in , ,

Time runs by at its own blinding speed,
why has it left me behind?
Days end, dates change,
mere numbers tumbling over each other.
Running in circles round and round,
I feel lost, never to be found.
Probably its too late for me now,
I am time's very own abandoned child.